Every Step of the Way

IMG_1842I always wanted to be a mother. Some of my earliest memories are of playing with baby dolls or playing “house” with my little sister. Growing up, I told my mom that I would be married and have children before I was 30. It was always in my heart to be a mother.

When I became a mother 16 and 1/2 years ago, however, I couldn’t imagine the journey that would become my life. I had my two oldest children within a loving marriage so I imagined that I would raise them that way too. I conceived my third child within that same happy marriage so I thought I would give birth as I had the other two.

I couldn’t have been more wrong!

My life, and the lives of my children, took a drastic turn on October 22nd, 2004. In the flash of an instant, I was a pregnant, single mother with two young children. The family I had created was gone. The only other person who could love these children as I did was no longer on this Earth. It was only me.

I didn’t know how I would survive and raise these children, but I did. Looking back, I now know that it was my faith, my friends and my family who encouraged me, helped me and strengthened me along the way.

Today, my daughter turns 14 years old. I remember the day of her birth as if it were yesterday. I looked over and her dad was asleep in the chair. I was watching the news coverage of Dale Earnhardt’s accident at the Daytona 500. My two year old son was at our cousin’s house so I wasn’t worried about him. I was about to give birth to my one and only daughter.

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Throughout the years, she has brought me more joy than I could ever have imagined possible. In the three short years she shared with her daddy, she was the apple of his eye. He adored her.

I look at her now and I’m reminded of how far we’ve all come since that fateful October day. I am stronger than I ever knew I could be. I am more independent than I ever wanted to be. My faith is my lifeline. I see these same qualities in my daughter: strength, independence, faith. She is ambitious and generous. She is loving and kind. If her dad were here to help me raise her, she would be exactly the kind of daughter that he would be proud of too.

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The Lord has carried me and my children through some dark moments and for that I am eternally grateful. During these past 10 years, I know that I have not raised my children alone. God has been with me every step of the way. I have always had an abundance of friends, co-workers and family to walk this road with us. How could it be anything but His plan when I am so blessed? Thank you, Lord.

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