My Story

I have been told that I should write a book because my story can offer hope to others who are going through tough times. I don’t know about writing a book so I’m starting with a blog. It seems logical to start off with the day that changed my life forever…..

Oct. 22nd, 2004. I was married to my high school sweetheart, Steve. We had recently celebrated our 10 year wedding anniversary the previous June. For our anniversary, I surprised Steve with a brand new motorcycle – something he had always wanted but we had never been able to afford. He was sooooo excited! I would catch him in the garage cleaning it, polishing it, just staring at it. He would tell me, “You’re the best wife ever! I can’t believe you bought this for me!” 

We had two children: our son, Cameron, was 6 years old and our daughter, Caitlin, was 3 years old. We had just found out that I was pregnant with our third baby. Steve went with me to the ultrasound and was excited to be expecting again. I was 10 weeks pregnant.

That morning, I woke up as Steve was getting ready for his job as a firefighter. I saw him kiss his hand and make the sign of the cross on each of the kids’ bedroom doors. I had never seen him do that and I remember thinking how odd it was. I knew that he didn’t want to wake the kids up with a kiss goodbye so I didn’t think much more about it.  We had a conversation but I can’t remember what we talked about. He left for work and I went back to bed.

As I was leaving for my job as a high school counselor with Caitlin in the car (Cameron was already on the bus on his way to 1st Grade), I checked my voicemail. There was a message from my friend telling me about a car accident on the way to work. She said it involved a motorcycle so I should check on Steve. He did ride his motorcycle to work that day, so I immediately called him.

No answer. I left a voice mail. I called his fire station. He wasn’t at work yet. Now, I was getting worried! Steve was NEVER late to work and he should have been at his station by now. His captain told me to call 911 and ask about the accident. I did. They told me that he wasn’t involved. Relief!

Steve’s fire captain called me and said that he was on his way to the hospital. He asked if someone could drive me there. That made no sense to me since I was already driving! I said I would head straight there but I was so confused because 911 told me that Steve wasn’t in the accident. What I would find out later is that I called 911 in the county we lived in but his accident was in a neighboring county…..different accident! I called Steve again and left him a voice mail. I didn’t want him to worry about me and I told him that I was on my way to the hospital. This was the love we had…I knew his first thought would be about me and I could never imagine that he was fatally injured.

Our daughter was still in the backseat, overhearing all of my telephone conversations. She was asking me questions so I told her that Daddy was fine and the doctors would make him all better. I called several people to meet me at the hospital: a friend to get Caitlin, my pastor, and my cousin (my only family member that lives near me). I was still thinking he would be okay. Lots of people survive motorcycle accidents, right?

When I pulled up to the hospital, fire trucks were parked all the way down the street. Every truck from his station was there. One of the firefighters took Caitlin from me and I went into the hospital to try to see Steve. All I was told was that he was in catscan and a doctor would talk to me soon. It seemed like an eternity. No one would tell me anything about his condition. I could tell from the way people were looking at me that something was not right. More people started showing up at the hospital. Friends from church, firefighters, work friends. It seemed as though people were showing up magically because I still didn’t know how badly he was injured.

A police officer talked to me about his accident. It wasn’t making sense. I couldn’t place the intersection where they said he was hit. No doctors were around. I stopped a nurse in the hallway and asked if someone was going to talk to me about my husband. Her reply, “I know he still has a heartbeat.” I called Steve’s dad and told them they needed to get to us as quickly as possible! (His parents lived in Michigan and we were in Georgia).

I saw two doctors walking down the hallway towards me with my cousin, pastor, friends and firefighters following them. It was like a movie scene to me and I didn’t want to go into the room that they ushered me into. I sat down and they all sat around me. I knew before the doctors opened their mouths what they were going to say…..the love of my life was gone! How was this possible? We were having a baby! Our family wasn’t complete so he couldn’t be gone! I was sure they had the wrong person! Steve didn’t even drive that way to work (I still couldn’t place the intersection) so I needed to see him because I was sure they had made a terrible mistake.

My pastor went with me when I finally saw Steve. I knew it was him as soon as I saw his hands…..those hands had held me and touched me for 19 years. I held his hand and my pastor prayed. My life would never be the same.

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10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Karen
    Nov 22, 2011 @ 20:57:15

    You are an excellent writing, Mary! Yes, I think you should write the book! This is so moving……tears are streaming down my face. I loved him, too and none of our lives will ever be the same. Thanks for doing this.

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  2. donna copeland
    Nov 23, 2011 @ 18:49:50

    I think this blog is a wonderful idea – a way for you to further share Steve with your kids and also for you to heal and nurture some of the purpose for your life. You are an excellent writer and I know that this blog can touch the lives of thousands. Keep writing and sharing your heart.

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  3. DEREK
    Nov 30, 2011 @ 18:35:46

    You were strong enough to be the wife of a fireman and for that alone you have the respect of us all. I too have lost someone recently that I loved very dearly so I understand the emotion that’s involved here. My opinion, you should write the book. You’re a great author and I believe it’s what Steve would want.

    FF/EMT

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  4. themidlifesecondwife
    Jan 10, 2012 @ 08:59:17

    Mary, I’m honored that you signed up to follow my blog. Thank you. I’m so happy to include you among my readers.

    Your story is heartbreaking and harrowing; now that I’ve found the love of MY life, I can’t imagine it without him…can’t imagine how you got through. You’ve reminded me to thank God every morning that I wake up and he’s there next to me. And I’m going to send him a text (my husband, not God…:-) ) right now to tell him I love him.

    Be well,
    Marci

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  5. Mary
    Jan 13, 2012 @ 20:08:21

    Dear Marci,
    Thank you for your comment! You are very blessed to have the love of your life with you and I’m glad that you texted him…..every day is a precious gift 🙂
    ~Mary

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  6. Marsi
    Jan 03, 2013 @ 03:01:57

    Hello,
    I have spent the greater part of my evening reading your inspiring blog. I am a new widow at the age of 40 and suddenly lost the love of my life Feb 19 2012. He left me with two young incredible boys and a big huge hole in my life that he used to fill with love, humor, wisdom, support and companionship. I miss him terribly.
    Your blog saved my sanity tonight. Thank you. Your style is witty and so much like my journey. Thank you for providing hope that I will carry on and one day be happy again. To Steve and John, I hope Heaven enjoys them as much as we did. Happy New Year to you and Blessings to you and your family.
    Marsi

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  7. Myrtis Perry
    Aug 11, 2014 @ 10:54:27

    Mary I am Facebook friends with Darrell Teal and I saw a comment you made to him. I was so excited to see your name I went to your Facebook page and saw you and your beautiful children. Steve and I worked at station 18 together and he was an incredible guy, he was always playing the tough guy persona but when we went on calls with children his heart was pure as gold and soft as a pillow. I was the paramedic on the ambulance but a lot of times the engine would get there before us and Steve would be stooped down at the child’s level face to face talking to and consoling that child it was like no one else was in the room just him and his patient and for a minute or two we would all stand there mesmerized. He was a very special man initially I didn’t think we would be friends, because I’m quiet, a little stand offish, and Southern and we all know Steve Bone is totally opposite of that but after riding together on the ambulance a few times we became friends and I loved him like I grew to love all the guys at the station. When we rode together he talked about you and the children all the time how you guys started dating at fourteen and how he loved you so much he knew you would be his wife. I would listen to his reminiscing and say to him “Steve you married the love of your life do you know how rare that is?” He would just smile. I’m so happy you’ve started this blog now I can read about you and the children thank you so much for sharing it makes my heart feel good.

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    • Mary
      Aug 11, 2014 @ 11:38:03

      I remember meeting you at Steve’s funeral. Your kind words about him touched my heart when I met you as they do now. I will share this with my children…they always hear from me how special he was and it will be great for them to hear it from you! Thank you ❤

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